While it’s most common in romantic settings, gaslighting can happen in any kind of relationship where one person is so important to the other that they don’t want to take the chance of upsetting or losing them, such as a boss, friend, sibling, or parent. Instead of distancing themselves from the gaslighter, they often rely on them to define reality or provide clarity, creating a cycle that is hard to break. The abusive patterns continue and the victim of gaslighting can become anxious, isolated, and confused. At first, it can begin with seemingly small or harmless offenses, but as they start to make you question your judgment or reality, things can become more serious. In simple terms, gaslighting is when someone manipulates another person into doubting their perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events. When she brings it up, he tells her she’s forgetful, imagining things and behaving oddly, and isolates her from others. In the movie, a wife starts to doubt her sanity after her manipulative husband starts slowly dimming the gas lamps in their home and making other changes to their environment. The term originated from a 1938 play and the 1944 film adaptation Gaslight. Ready to find a therapist who specializes in relationships? Complete our free, confidential questionnaire to easily and quickly match with three personalized therapists or coaches. It’s normal to disagree in relationships, but how do you know when it crosses the line into gaslighting? Here are a few examples of gaslighting as well as some things you can do in case you think it’s happening to you. Had they said something? Are you overreacting? Is it normal to be out until all hours of the night? Maybe you even apologize to them. Instead of apologizing or giving a reasonable explanation, they say, “It’s not that late” or “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” or “I told you I’d be home late.” It’s late, and they haven’t said where they’d be, how late they would be out, or returned any of your calls.

Picture this: You’re sitting on the couch, wondering where your partner is.

Friend gaslighting me